Nobody is Coming (rev 1)

The pinot noir tastes like apple juice since I started paying more than two dollars for it but the table is still sustainable, recyclable corrugated cardboard made in the USA.

It took me over 20 years and a lot of cups of coffee to realize that the sun sets later in the North than it does in Mexico and that it is not the water there that makes a person sick, but the antiseptic hysteria of mothers in the suburbs of major Midwest cities.

The fact is that the food we eat is laced with gluten because that is how the Government will enslave us. And by “us” I mean Texans and people who shop at Wal-Mart. Religion, too, is a grand circus, complete with magic, clowns and folks jumping through burning hoops. Do not let yourself be fooled by the definition of evil.

Lately, men approach older men with round glasses and gray pony tails in the hopes they were in Vietnam and can, therefore, relate. Tears are shed as penance for Improvised Explosive Device massacres and episodes in which they were forced to pry a screaming toddler from the grips of a schizophrenic wielding a butcher knife. The schizophrenic stabbed himself 12 times before he slit his own throat.

Somewhere, in a town very close to yours, peroxide prudes wonder why their legs were forced apart and they lost $600 on an abortion. They fall in love with the next gun smokin’ to make themselves feel pretty again. When they turn 23 they will earn an internship to Teen Vogue and eventually influence the psyche of your granddaughters.

Right now, the most important virtue is courage because the battle is real. It is not enough to do your best or love your neighbor. Even Hitler believed in himself. Here is my advice: You can drift by and be happy, but the real joy comes in serving the greater good. In Jesus’ name we pray; Amen.